


give me more (but it’s not enough)

by JemTheKingOfSass



Series: ...and then what happened? [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: Day 7, Day Seven, M/M, Red Prompt: Passion, RinHaru Week 2018, Rinharu Week, Theme: Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-16 23:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16963281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JemTheKingOfSass/pseuds/JemTheKingOfSass
Summary: Rin hesitates for too long - Haru will see right through him. He scrambles to remember what they had been discussing prior to him nodding off, and starts ticking them off in his head: dual exhaustion, the future, the past. Rin bolts up. “H-Haru. You want to travel together?”Or, the deleted scenes from the DF RH audio drama track.





	give me more (but it’s not enough)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for RH Week Day 7  
> Theme: _**Future**_  
>  Red Prompt: _**Passion**_

 

* * *

 

 _“I’ll show you a sight you’ve never seen before!” His own youthful voice chirps with excitement, while wide sparkling eyes stare back at him._

_The other boy shakes his black hair and frowns before opening his small, petulant mouth. “We’ll see a sight we’ve never seen before.” The boy blurs and shifts until he’s older, sharper, although the eyes remain the clearest blue, like water. “A sight we’ve never seen before.”_

_“Rin.”_

 

Rin squints, expecting bright light to scorch his vision upon waking, but all that lies before him is Haru’s face, closer than he thinks it’s ever been before. He blinks and shifts his head back a little, trying to create distance even as his gut implores him to stay put.

“Rin.” Haru leans forward in the car seat, dismissing Rin’s attempt at personal space. “You’re awake?”

Rin chuckles, soft and low to match the serene atmosphere in the car. “It would seem, Haru.” He stretches his arms and flips to his back, tucking one bent elbow beneath his head. “Did you sleep at all?”

“No.” Rin hears Haru moving in his seat, and when he glances over he gets the view of his companion’s distinct profile. For a moment, Rin considers reaching out a shaky finger to trace along the dip of Haru’s brow, down to the tip of his nose, over the swell of both his lips, ending with an affectionate tap to a jutting chin. Maybe he could even plant a tiny kiss there, just to see what it feels like to kiss Haru. 

Rin eyes pop open, all lingering drowsiness vanished as his pulse quickens - he senses it pounding throughout his entire body. “Oh.” His voice is gravelly and sounds awkward to his own ears. He clears his throat and turns his head to stare pointedly at the roof of the car. He swallows with difficulty, hoping it’s not audible.

“What are you thinking about?” Haru asks a simple question, though it might as well be advanced astrophysics given how unanswerable it is from where Rin sits stewing in his own roiling emotions.

Rin hesitates for too long - Haru will see right through him. He scrambles to remember what they had been discussing prior to him nodding off, and starts ticking them off in his head: dual exhaustion, the future, the past. Rin bolts up. “H-Haru. You want to travel together?”

Haru smiles, just a quick and subtle uptick of his lips, but it’s enough to squeeze the air out of Rin’s lungs, not a healthy combination with his racing heartbeat. “We will when we’re going to the same tournaments.”

“Do you really think about your future like that, Haru? What it looks like as a professional swimmer? Do you-” Rin halts his speech before he reveals too much, shows his hand, bares his soul in a way that he isn’t convinced he’s ready for, but he craves the answer anyway, longs for it the way a flower thirsts for water and sunlight, a patch of soil to set down roots. 

A quirked eyebrow, a slight head tilt, and Haru’s tongue darting out across his bottom lip all serve to unravel Rin further, and he’s almost sorry he glanced back over at his childhood friend. Despite spending nearly all of their time in separate places - different schools, different cities, different continents - Rin considers Haru the person who knows him best, or at least the parts of him that matter. Haru has witnessed lows and highs, rage and euphoria, tears of anguish as well as joy, and all the gently rolling tides in between. Through every reckless emotion, even thousands of miles away, Rin relies on the steadfast calm of Haru to anchor him and prevent him from drifting too far- 

Not again. Rin won’t ever again let himself get swept away in the undertow, and Haru won’t lose track of him this time, not at sea and not on dry land. 

Rin finds the courage to voice his thoughts, to surge forth in the final few meters to smack at the immoveable wall of Haru, palms flat and fingers splayed, all-in, win or lose. “Do you ever think about other parts of the future? The non-swimming parts?”

“Yes.” Haru nods against the headrest, still reclined in his seat, and closes his eyes, like he’s watching the rest of his life play out like a spool of film against his eyelids. “I think about all the things I want.”

Rin lays back down, on his side so he can watch Haru as he expounds on his future, his hopes, his dreams. This is the kind of conversation Rin thrives on, reveling in other people’s goals and visions, listening to what they see, and how they think the path will unveil itself over time. Sometimes friends will ask him for his opinion, and he has no shortage of pearls of wisdom and sage advice towards achieving and persevering. Haru has assisted him so often over the years, intentionally and unintentionally, Rin hopes he can return the favor, wonders if he ever has. He props his head on his hand and waits, certain Haru will share more as soon as he’s ready. He mumbles an agreement, encouraging Haru, making him aware that he’s committed, he’s listening, he’ll always be here for Haru no matter what. 

Rin watches the glow from a street lamp play across Haru’s face as he lays there unaware, highlighting the strong cheekbones and the curve of his jaw. He stares at the lock of glossy black hair that rests on his forehead, fingers itching to touch it and see if it’s as soft as it seems. His eyes stray lower, to the cherry blossom pink of Haru’s lips, still gleaming from when he licked them moments ago. Rin trails his gaze along the smooth, pale column of his neck, stopping at the slope of broad shoulders, wondering if he could feel the slight ridges of Haru’s collarbone if he were to run his fingers along it. 

Rin leans forward, eyes darting back up to Haru’s mouth, and he’s not even sure he’s blinking. He moves his face away from his hand, shifting forward in his seat, he imagines he even starts to feel body heat radiating off of the other man- 

“I see everything clearly, Rin.” Haru’s voice breaks Rin’s trance, and he jerks back against the car door, glaring fixedly and unfocused out the rear window. He’s short of breath and his cheeks are _burning_ , but he’s not sure if it’s from the thrill of almost getting caught or the thrill of what he had been about to do. Rin is viscerally aware he almost altered their entire friendship with one impulsive move, except right now he is certain it’s what he yearns for with a single-minded focus. He wants to melt into the car seat and disappear, although as soon as he thinks that he knows it’s a lie - all he wants is to melt into Haru. 

“Oh yeah?” Rin’s voice is shaky, but somehow he thinks he manages to school his features into a semblance of relaxed zen, or at least, not overt panic, which is the only goal. This road trip has been going so smoothly, everything easy and effortless, until Rin awoke with the stifling awareness that a future without Haru is not one he wants for himself. He desperately attempts to get back to that natural place they had been in comfortably prior to his nap, before his emotional flailing seized control of him again at the sight of Haru’s face. He plasters on a lopsided grin. “What kinds of things do you see then? Tell me.” 

Haru opens his eyes and pins him with his stare, blue eyes sparking with a resolute determination that Rin lives to see in him. Merely glimpsing it relaxes Rin a bit, easing him back to the state of calm he had managed all afternoon. He breathes, reveling in this companionship, their friendship which pulls each other like the tide. Haru pushes him, yet never fails to reel him back in. Rin can’t imagine being anywhere else except lost in the endless water that gazes at him with purpose. He’s drowning, he’s floating, he’s tugged downstream to wherever Haru leads him, not fighting the waves but allowing them to swell and crash around him - Rin will go anywhere.

“I see myself swimming, I see you swimming, I see us together.” Haru’s face pinches in concern after he shares his vision, focusing in on Rin’s face, scrutinizing it.

Rin scoffs. He expects more from Haru at this point. “Well okay, sure, Haru. That’s already what we’re about to do though, isn’t it? I mean, is that really the future or just a prediction of this weekend?” 

Haru scowls back at him, his turn to glare out the window as he crosses his arms tightly across his chest. Rin obsessively follows the bunching of his muscles under his blue t-shirt with the motion, gulping as he snaps his eyes back up to Haru’s. “This weekend is still the future, Rin. And I don’t think you heard me correctly.”

“Haru,” sighs Rin, not wanting to argue, and needing that sour look off Haru’s face regardless of how cute he finds the downward slant of his mouth when he pouts. He laughs at himself, self-deprecation a mask he’s used to wearing. “Then tell me again. You know I’m thick sometimes, especially when it comes to deciphering your code.”

“I wasn’t talking in code. And don’t put yourself down.” Haru shifts in his seat and extends an arm towards Rin, clasping one of his hands with strong, slender fingers, Rin admiring the shape and size of them as he glances down to where they are now connected to one another. “Rin.”

“What, Haru? I’m listening. You can tell me anything.” Rin leans in again, this time with no straying thoughts, laser-focused on hearing the exact message Haru conveys. They face one another, bodies closer than they have been all day.

Haru huffs out a laugh, almost more of a snort, and Rin would take offense if he wasn’t mesmerized by the slight crinkling around Haru’s eyes when he smiles, his whole face lightening with the action, and Rin has an urge to press his mouth against the corners of Haru’s eyes, unsure if he’d be able to feel each individual creased line of skin with only his lips. He bites the inside of his cheek and focuses on Haru’s forthcoming words. 

“I see myself swimming and I see you swimming. I see Team Japan. I see the Olympics. I see medals and I see relays and I see you crying and hugging your mother after your first gold.” Haru pauses to take a breath and Rin tries to not make the tear-filled portion of Haru’s vision come true much sooner than he had indicated. He wonders how a gold medal would look as it rests flush against Haru’s chest, sparkling under the blinding lights of a natatorium, Haru’s eyes shining brighter than the award itself. “I see us together.”

“Together on the podium?” Rin grins because he sees that too. Haru’s hand tightens its grip where it holds his, almost to the point of discomfort. 

Haru shakes his head, eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Rin. I don’t know how to…” He trails off and Rin’s left puzzling over how he’s missed the mark again. 

Rin opens his mouth to fill the silence, beg Haru to tell him just one more time, swear he’ll comprehend every word out of his mouth this time- 

Practically lunging out of his seat, Haru’s mouth surges against his with a clack of teeth, and the length of his body bears down on him. Their joined hands are awkwardly wedged between them, but Haru’s other hand cradles the back of Rin’s head, fingers alternately toying with loose strands of hair and digging into his neck. Rin falters for a brief moment before pushing back up into the kiss, opening his lips hungrily for Haru, and wrapping his free arm around the other man’s back, tugging him down even further. What began as a clumsy first kiss, gradually turns into something much richer, much smoother, the longer they connect, like sticky sweet honey luring Rin in to taste his fill. Their chests and hips press together, and it could be uncomfortable, but there is nowhere else Rin wants to be then flattened between the car seat and Haru. 

“Rin,” breathes Haru, eyes glimmering with mischief as he gazes down at him. Rin struggles to keep his eyes open, but appreciates the alluring vision of Haru with flushed cheeks and swollen lips, entire face glowing. “Do you understand what I’m saying now?”

Rin snorts, even as he frees his hand from Haru’s grip, using it to pull Haru back down and put his mouth to a better purpose. He hums as they kiss again, greedily, like there’s nowhere else either of them needs to be, and maybe there isn’t. Perhaps this is exactly what they are meant to be doing, right at this very moment, challenging each other but still melding together and pushing forward, united, no remaining gaps between them. 

Rin separates himself this time, to breathe and to revel, bringing his fingers up to trace the features of Haru’s face. He pecks Haru’s chin. “H-Haru.” 

Haru spatters feather-light kisses along Rin’s brow, down his cheeks, on the tip of his nose, over by his ears, which earns a twitch and a groan, which Rin valiantly attempts to cover up. “What, Rin?”

“Are we, ahhh Haru, is this what you meant by ‘together’?” Rin clutches at Haru’s hair with one hand, and his waist with the other, arching up into him as Haru continues kissing along the shell of his ear and grazing his lips across his neck. He laughs, rich and musical, and Rin thinks he should spend the next hundred years coaxing that sound out Haru. His fingers tremble and his eyelids tighten, and before he can stop them, he feels familiar wetness painting his cheeks. 

“Don’t cry.” Haru swipes a thumb tenderly underneath Rin’s eyes. “Yes, this is what I meant. I’m glad you understand now.”

“I do, Haru, I do. I see it too. I’ve seen it for awhile I just didn’t know how to tell you or what to say, I didn’t want to ruin anything, I like being friends with you. You’re so important to me and I want to swim with you so badly, I just-” A hand covers Rin’s mouth and he wrinkles his nose as he licks the offending palm. “Alright, I’m babbling. I want the same future, Haru. I see it.”

“Good,” hums Haru, as he leans back down to capture Rin’s lips once again. “This is the sight I most wanted us to see today.”

Later, after they untangle themselves and emerge from the vehicle, they stand shoulder to shoulder, leaning against the car and gazing up at the vast sky. Rin is certain if he stares intently enough, he’ll be able to visualize the two of them reflected in the endless expanse of stars.

Rin nudges Haru with his elbow, about to wax poetic about his thoughts, except when Haru’s eyes meet his, glimmering with purpose and something unidentifiable yet completely captivating, all sense of communication flees his mind. He’s drawn in like a magnet, Haru’s mouth reeling him in like an inescapable current, and he kisses the pillowy softness of Haru’s lips. This is as easy as breathing, being with Haru, and everything Rin didn’t know he has been missing. He never wants this heady, exhilarating rush towards each other and a shared journey to end - he promises himself it never will. 

“Cheers to right now,” murmurs Rin, as he smiles against Haru’s mouth, happy and content to be facing a future together in the pool, on the world stage, in each other’s lives, in each other’s hearts. “And to everywhere we’re going from here.”

 

* * *

 


End file.
